Children should always expect from their parents love and care.
But what if the parents are toxic?
How would you feel if I told you that in 2008, the Administration of Children and Families in the US Department of Health and Human Services reported that more than 50,000 children were officially counted as victims of emotional abuse?
Whether hurtful words are intended to cause pain or not…they can leave marks and memories from a short time to a lifetime.
Hurtful remarks can come from loved ones such as parents, and the psychological and emotional damage can be detrimental to a lot of people… especially their children.
The way parents raise their children and behave around them sets up the basic ground which builds their personality and self-esteem.
So, how do you know if a parent or caretaker is toxic?
Offensive words towards their appearance, here are eight toxic things parents say that can affect a child’s life.
1.Offensive words:
Use of offensive words towards their appearance like, “You’re ugly, too fat, too short or too skinny, or you have ugly hair.”
Degrading children based on their appearance will likely only increase their physical insecurity and worry about their body image. This could lead to serious emotional issues such as eating disorders.
Parents are supposed to teach their children how to love themselves no matter how they look on the outside.
2. Provocative questions :
Provocative questions towards actions.
Like, “Why do you act so weird?”, “Why do you walk that way?”
“Chew that way?”, “Move or talk that way?”
Children tend to believe anything their parents say, so sarcastic questions or remarks like these may make the child feel like there is something wrong with them.
This makes it very hard for the child to be themselves around people, even during their adulthood,
and they may also be trapped by the discomfort and fear that others may laugh at them, or notice the excrescencies that they are poisonous parents made up for them.
3. Selfish wishes :
“I wish you were never born.”, “I wish I had an abortion.”, “I regret having you.”, “I wish you were a different child.”
Parents should avoid making statements that could lead a child to feel as though their existence is a mistake or that they are unworthy of life. These remarks are so harmful to a child, and a human in general.
They diminish their whole sense of identity, which can lead to self-harm and early depression.
Instead, parents should make them feel loved and valued.
4. Treat like a burden/hurdle :
Making the child feel like a burden/hurdle.
“You cost me too much money.”, “It’s so hard to take care of you.”, “Having you exhausts me”.
If a parent says this to their child, the child will feel like a burden. It’ll cause them to unconsciously hide their needs feelings and problems…just to avoid the roughness of the parent.
Considering that Nemours, a non-profit children’s health care system, reported that lack of love and affection, or materialistic things are some of the causes for some children to lean on stealing and being abusive.
5. Unhealthy comparisons :
“Why you aren’t like your sibling, cousin, or the other kids?” “The other kids are better than you.”
This will reduce a child’s self-esteem substantially and make them think that they’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard they try.
Comparing siblings with one another only promotes an unhealthy relationship between them.
This will cause them to feel jealousy and resentment towards each other. Siblings should be equally given the right to build their own independent identities.
6. Abusive words :
Use of verbally abusive words.
“You’re stupid.”, “Useless.” “You’re a loser.” or, “You’ll never make it.”
Absolute remarks like this will damage the child’s self-esteem.It’s important that parents encourage their children to believe in themselves. Threatening children for abandonment.
7. Threatening abandonment:
“I’ll leave you.”, “I’ll put you aside.”, “You’ll wake up and never find me.”, “I’ll just disappear”.
This will cause a child to have abandonment issues. Fearing that people they love will leave them because of who they are.When a child grows up this belief will be unconsciously ingrained in their mind.
They’ll be unable to trust future relationships for fear of them leaving.
8. Empty promises:
“If you do this, I’ll buy you that.”, or “I’ll take you there next time.”
But then they don’t do it. (that happens to almost everyone). When a parent makes promises that they don’t keep, it breaks the child’s trust. It makes the child feel betrayed.
Making fake promises is an excellent way to teach a child how not to trust others in life.
Conclusion:
To conclude, even though words aren’t physically harmful, they can be extremely harmful to the psyche and emotional well-being. Childhood is an essential chapter in every human’s life. Our childhood builds our personalities, behaviors, and beliefs.
Have you experienced any of these forms of abuse?
How do you feel about them?
Do you know someone who has, and could benefit from this Article?
Please consider sharing this article to reach worldwide attention.
Thus, parents and prospective parents should be more conscious of the way they communicate with their children.